Oxtail

Americans tend to stray from oxtail because it is fatty and it cooks about as fast as old people fornicate*, or perhaps because raw oxtail looks like the barrel of a meat gatling gun. I had someone tell me one time that oxtails had too much bone, to which I responded with some pretty aggressive nostril flaring and explained that bone = flavor, dawg. Either way, oxtail gets a bad rep because of its gelatinous quality and slow cooking time; when prepared correctly, however, the stuff is nearly unbeatable in terms of flavor and tenderness.

True to its name, oxtail is, yep, the tail of an ox. Though this isn't really 100% accurate, as an ox is an ahem, gelded male, whereas the stuff you see in the supermarket can come off the heinie of any old cattle. Oxtail is eaten with relative consistency on each and every continent. That isn't to say that Hindus are lining up for seconds or that there are enough people (or cattle, for that matter) in Antarctica to even form a line, but it's a common (and usually cheap) cut. Oxtail is especially prominent in African and Jamaican stews as well as in Southeast Asian comfort food, and even comes in a powdered form much like bullion, ie, the salty bane of my existence.

Originally I was going to make Colombian sazon oxtail soup, but then my totally sweet older brother, Billy Bob, swooped in with a pasta maker for my birthday. A few leaping high-fives later, I busted that bad boy out and the rest, as they say, was history. Please preemptively forgive me if this recipe has more steps than Tikal.

Braised Oxtail

3+ lbs. oxtail

1 onion, small diced

2 sticks celery, small diced

1-2 carrots, peeled and small diced

3 cloves garlic, minced

1 tomato, rough chopped

4 oz. button mushrooms, sliced

equal parts red wine, stock, and Coca Cola (3+ cups each)

2 T tomato paste

2 T soy

2 T Worcestershire sauce

1 T Sriracha (or other hot sauce)

2 bay leaves

1 stick cinnamon

1/2 T ground allspice

8 sprigs thyme

1 1/2 T Italian flat-leaf parsley, chopped

kosher salt and fresh cracked black pepper, to taste

flour

vegetable/extra-Virgin olive oil

Preheat your oven on 325. Heat a large Dutch oven over medium-high heat. Add enough oil to coat the bottom of the oven. While it heats, pat dry, season, and coat the oxtail with flour, shaking any excess flour away. When the oil is shimmering, add the oxtail pieces and brown on all sides. Remove oxtails and add mirepox (onions, celery, and carrots.) Wait 2 minutes, then add the garlic. Wait another minute then add the tomato paste and tomatoes. Stir to incorporate the paste, then when the vegetables have been sweated down, add 2 cups of red wine. Reduce by a third, then add the remaining ingredients and put the Dutch oven into the oven. Braise until tender, or 6+ hours. Strain the liquid and set it aside. Pull the oxtail meat off the bone and cover it with the liquid, discarding the leftovers. Set in the fridge until the fat cap has formed from the liquid another few hours later, which you should then remove.

"Omg, omg, ur putting Coca Cola in there?!?!?!?!" Shaddap! This recipe needs to be kicked up with a little sugar. And by the way, I'm sorry if your kitchen smells completely delicious during this process. Now, this is incredibly tasty already and good enough to eat as is with some crusty bread, but I decided to take it a step or two further.

The next part of the recipe is where it gets a little tricky: rolling the pasta. You have a few options here. You can either, as I did, make your own dough; buy premade pasta sheets and cut them into ravioli; or buy another completely different kind of pasta and use that instead. Regardless, unless you liked Episode 18 of Joyce's Ulysses, you want to read my garrulous explanation of the process about as much as I want to write it.

Pasta Filling**

Braised oxtail meat

Parmesan cheese, freshly grated

Ricotta cheese

basil and parsley, chiffonade

1 egg

kosher salt & fresh cracked black pepper, to taste

Remove the meat from the liquid (Try heating it slightly and the removal should be easier--the liquid will have congealed somewhat), reserving the liquid. Combine the first four ingredients to your liking, then add the egg and seasoning. Place a small dollop of the mixture in the pasta as your ravioli filling, then cook the pasta 2-3 minutes in boiling water, or until done. Sauce the dish with the reduced braising liquid and garnish with additional herbs and Parmesan cheese.

**I realize this recipe's lack of measurements looks like a cop out, but you really should try it first and then add seasoning. Parmesan tends to be salty, so seasoning may not be needed.

Oxtail Sauce

Reserved braising liquid

Tablespoon pats of butter, cold

Take 1/3 cup of the liquid and reduce by half, or your spoon is coated. Add a pat of butter and stir to incorporate. Serve over ravioli.

Basil leaf pressed into homemade ravioli = pasta making skillz

Pretty much all I can say is, "Wow." Not to brag, but, uh...this recipe is awesome. I make plenty of things that I enjoy eating, but rarely do I impress myself with something I've made. Narcissus, move over. Braised oxtail ravioli is savory and rich like you wouldn't believe--almost to the point of decadence. As I cut the pasta rather into rather sizable shapes, two was enough for a (too-large) appetizer. I had ten. The reduced braising liquid is nothing short of heavenly, and if I had a vat of it with a few loaves of bread and the final fight scene of Last of the Mohicans on repeat, I'd be a happy camper.

* Author's Note: I haven't identified the rate at which the elderly get their swerve on, but I can imagine it is rather leisurely.