Chicken Hearts

I'd like to start off with a brief piece of etymological history to defend my newfound friend, the chicken heart. Much love, cuz.

This scrumptious treat gets a bad reputation due to the term "chicken-hearted," meaning "cowardly." Who can we blame for this dastardly deed, you might ask? Well, the phrase "lion heart" is to blame. And that popinjay, Shakespeare. I'll explain: Richard the Lionheart didn't earn his moniker by chilling in Westminster Abbey, lighting candles, and saying his prayers like a good little king. After six months, homeboy got sick of what qualified in England as "food," or as "attractive" (and still does to this day), said, "Nah, sonne," and then went and put the stamp on kids in Cyprus while playing slap and tickle with Berengaria, the Navarrean king's first daughter. Thus, a year or two later, Van Damme deemed the word "lionheart" worthy as the title for one of the most badass movies on the planet.

And then you have "chicken-hearted." Have you ever tried to catch a chicken? Because I have. And unless you're Usain Bolt, it sucks. Those quick little buggers are more scared than Stephen Rea halfway into The Crying Game. Clearly, Shakespeare grew up around the lily-livered avians as well, because in 1611, the clever limey drew from the popular king's courageous legacy and coined the antithetical term "chicken-hearted" in his play Cymbeline. Subsequently, when the world began to advocate literacy and force teenagers worldwide to read the bard's flowery, plagiarized drivel, chicken heart sales plummeted. I have no real evidence to back this theory, but you probably would have bought it. Hopefully now you've gained some empathy for my tasty friend, the chicken heart.

If you've been to Asia, South American, or the Middle East and you've had something akin to yakitori, sizzling sisig, churrasco, or meorav yerulshami, chances are good that you've eaten chicken hearts. You also probably enjoyed them immensely. You know why? Because they're awesome. This offal is high in protein, iron, cholesterol (yessssssss!) and flava, is also eaten in parts of Sweden, Germany, Italy, or Greece.

I have always wanted to try sizzling sisig, a Filipino dish that that contains several varieties meat, onions, and eggs all on top of a greasy sizzle plate. Seeing as how I didn't have a sizzle plate or beef cheeks on hand and it was 3:30 in the morning, I decided on an altered breakfast version.

A nice little protein blast before getting one's swoll on.

The hearts were pink to light-brown in color, the size of nickels, and gave slightly when pressure was applied, though they were mostly hard. The smell of iron was evident, especially when initially simmering them. For this reason, I could guess at the taste, so decided to marinate them in the strong Asian flavors and then add the sauce to offset some of the potential offal taste.

Filipino Hash

1 lb. chicken hearts

1/2 onion, small diced

chicken stock, as needed

1/4 C rice vinegar

1 T soy sauce

1/2 T fish sauce

2 tsp sugar

1 tsp garlic powder

1/2 tsp Sriracha

1/2 tsp fresh cracked black pepper

4 new potatoes

2 eggs

green onions, chopped

vegetable oil

butter

Simmer the hearts whole in chicken stock to cover until tender but not soft (1-1 1/2 hours or so). Combine all the remaining ingredients other than the last five. Remove the hearts and roughly chop them, reserving the stock. Marinate the chopped hearts in the liquid mixture for an hour. Boil the potatoes in the stock until they are a couple of minutes from fork-tender, then remove and quarter them. Heat a pan on medium-high heat, add a splash of vegetable oil and a small pat of butter, then add the hearts. As the meat is browning, add the potatoes. Wait two minutes and add the diced onions. Wait another two minutes, then add 1/2 the marinade. When that cooks down, immediately place the hash between two serving vessels and crack an egg on top of each. Stirring will help the solidification process. Garnish with green onions and serve with plenty of Sriracha or hot sauce of your choice.

Man, I'm going to be SO hungover tomorrow. Oh wait, no I'm not.

This is seriously addictive. I'm pretty sure if I sold this in a college diner open all night I would be a batrillionaire. The tangy marinade shines through and the slight chew of the meat goes well with the crispy and soft potatoes. The smell of the dish is truly unbelievable; my mouth was watering like Elwood the dog's. The heart still has a bit of an offal bite to it, but in the hash it's enjoyable in accord with the other flavors. While it looks like there are many Asian ingredients in the dish, it still manages to have that American diner flavor with a twist as quintessential late night/early morning fare.

Many people grill traditional sisig on skewers, then chop it roughly and saute it in the pan for an extra charred smoky flavor. While I'm sure this is tasty, it was nearly 5:00 am by the time I finished putting this together, and I was one hungry fellow. Another good substitute would be using day-old white rice instead of the potatoes. The beauty about this dish (especially the marinade) is that there is no ascribed recipe. So don't be chicken-hearted and make it.